south paws...

Thankfully, the world, nowadays, has come to acknowledge the presence of these "anomalous" people who seem to do things the left way (well, "the right way" is for the less fortunate ones;-) ). However, alienation cannot be eliminated for these people who are born into a naturally biased world...the world biased against the left (no pun!!)
Though there is a well known justification that when a person's right side of the brain dominates, then the person tends to be left-handed; there is no clear reason why the right side of the brain should dominate in the first place for certain people. There have also been speculations as to the reduced life span of left handers and their susceptibility to disorders such as schizophrenia and delirium (what crap!!), but none has been substantiated as yet. Researchers have also observed that there are more left-handers than right, with an IQ over 140 (how true!!). Curiously, left-handers have been at the extreme ends of the spectrum, with Albert Einstien, Napoleon Bonaparte, Julius Caesar, Alexander the Great on one end and Jack the Ripper, Boston Strangler and so on, on the other.
It is well known that, historically and socially, the left side was always looked down upon. The words that were used to denote the "left" in languages such as Greek and Latin, were synonymous with evil, sinister, clumsy, unwieldy and so on. However, the right always symbolized good, skill and dexterity. It is not by coincidence that the word "right" always has positive connotations and usages such as: the right(correct) way, in the right mind, whereas the poor "left" is more often used as in "left out" and "two left feet" (the bloody wicked right!!!)
Although the percentage of left handers at any point of time has been as low as 10-12%, there is some consolation in the thought that the process of natural selection has not eliminated left-handedness, as has been the case with most anomalies. This proves that left handers are probably not weaker biologically, but have been made so because they have had to adapt themselves to live in a right-dominated world.
One such element that discourages the south paws mentally, is the unwanted attention that they draw in a gathering. Well, it used to be embarrasing back then, but has now become a routine. "Ohh...You eat with your left hand!! Are you left-handed?"...."No, its actually a hobby to eat with my left hand in such gatherings", I'd want to say.
Personally, I was faced with a lot of problems as a kid, when I started learning to do things. My kindergarten teacher used to grab the pencil from my left hand and plant it in my right, and the fantastic explanation that she gave was that she thought I was "ill"!! My parents had a tough time teaching me to do stuff the "right" way!! I used to write from right to left, mark a tick the other way and even turn the pages the wrong way. Those who have not had the chance to interact with left handers wont even know that such problems even exist..."Ticking the wrong way??!! How can you even think of it?!!!". For left handers, writing from left to right, especially on a right arm chair, can be one of the most difficult practices to adapt to, because it would mean that the writing hand would come in the way of the eye and the paper, and hence a clear view of whatever was being written, would be impossible. Consequently, a leftist's handwriting (including mine) is usually so ugly that it looks almost enciphered!! My school never had a left arm chair and in those exams where we had to use the arm chairs instead of the desks, I would find myself sitting at right angles, turning my whole body to the right so that the paper could be on the left side of my body!!! And obviously, at the end of the exam, I would find the supervisor tugging furiously at my paper while I'd be begging him for a few extra minutes!!
Not just these desks, almost every device that we use is handed. Whenever I used to pick up a pair of scissors to cut some paper, I'd wonder why the damn thing wasn't working for me. After a few frustrating attempts, I'd throw the useless device and simply tear the paper with my hands. Left handers, unfortunately, have to put up with these right-handed scissors and knives, right-handed keyboards, numpads and calculators(numbers are from left to right), right-handed cricket gloves (was quite a hassle finding left handed ones for me), right-handed computer mice (wow!! what a pain it was, initially!! But, I still think I can do better at Quake3Arena with a left handed mouse!!) and so on.
Once, my bro-in-law had bought a new golf kit. I had never played golf, but the clubs were so pretty that I pictured myself swinging one of those gleaming clubs majestically, and staring fixedly into the distance(like those golfers do!!:-) ) , with the club over my shoulder, glinting in the sunlight. So we rushed to the practice range only to realize that those clubs were right handed!! My heart sank and my poor bro-in-law had to run all over the place to find me a left handed club. Finally, I had to settle for a rented lousy, old, orange-colored, half-broken, left-handed club :-((
It is surprising that for such genuine causes, there are no groups that represent this minority community and demand that all institutions and organizations be equipped with some basic left-handed devices and that the accessibility and availability of left-handed gadgets be improved by way of an increase in the number of stores that sell such devices. And yes, fight for some reservation as well, in view of the trauma that we face in this hostile world ;-)
However, inspite of such shortcomings, I'm sure my fellow south paws will agree that it does feel special to be left-handed!! The momentary stir and confusion when we arrive at the crease with the bat in our left hand(what happens after that doesnt matter!!:-) ), the brief murmers and stares when we catch the pen or the spoon with the left hand and the comments of some people, "How do you do it with your left hand? It looks beautiful". All these remind us that we're different, in a trivial but special way. Poor bourgeoise right handers!! ;-)

An incident...

A week ago, a friend(Apu) and I were exiting Forum late in the evening and were headed towards the coffee day right opposite it. On the aisle meant for auto rickshaws and pedestrians, a sizeable crowd had gathered and most of the passers-by were watching the scene from a safe distance(as usual). We, being no different, craned our necks from the periphery to catch a glimpse of the proceedings.
A father, a daughter about my age (a rather pretty and voluptuous one) and a little girl about the age of 12(presumably the second daughter) formed the prosecution, with the defendant being a young romeo with "rogue" written all over his face, and none other than the auto walas comprised the jury. It didnt take us much to deduce that the lover, unable to resist the pretty one clad in skirt, must have decided to extend his hand to show that he was a man!!
Though unacceptable, it was nothing unusual. So we were about to leave, when we noticed that the little girl was weeping!! Curious, we strained our ears to listen to the gossip. It was then that we learned that the bugger had actually felt the behind of the kid...the kid which was probably too innocent to even understand what had been done to her and was probably weeping because of the commotion all around!!
Stunned for a moment, I looked at the poor kid and then at the dad, who was screaming desperately at the bastard, "What is her age? What is her fucking age?"...
Well, thats Bengaluru for you!! Not even a kid can walk peacefully with her dad. Well, I was about to compare the lives, the culture and the crime rates in cities like Bombay, Bangalore and my sweet home Madras. But then I decided against it for it would draw more flak than appreciation...!!

Working out a work out plan!!

I have always been great at planning, and my workout schedule is no exception. The planning stage went on for five years, but somehow the project got shelved with every attempt. Fate, it seemed, was against me all the time!! In my first year of college, my bhawan was the farthest from the health club...and closest to the institute. Nahh..that was just an additional piece of information...Acads were strictly off my list of engagements, especially on a holiday...a five year long holiday!!! :-) Now, coming back to the predicament, my motivation took a severe beating when I realized I had to walk all the way for a work out. Was it worth it? I would tire by the time I reached the health club and hence wouldnt be able to work out to my fullest!! Well, you could argue that the whole idea was to exert yourself, one way or the other. But, it would be absurd to shell out 75bucks a semester to the health club, so that I could exert myself by simply walking all the way to it!! I could do that even without paying the club!! (Its important to be logical even in the most testing of times!! Besides, it was quite an amount back in college, considering there were other..lets say, intoxicating expenses...). And so it was decided that I would wait another year and pray that I be moved closer to the health club...and needless to say, if I wasnt registered, there would be no reason to walk all the way to the club early in the morning and turn back!! So, the best available option was to sleep till midday and the accompanying benefit was, reduced intake...yaa, i believe in getting to the source of the problem;-)
My prayers were answered and I was moved closer to the health club in my 2nd year. But the second and the third years were way too hectic to even think about working out. The summers were too hot to venture outdoors in the mornings and the winters too cold to even get out of bed!! Thats life...there are always obstacles!!! Besides, my attendance was absolutely compulsory (Again, its not what you think...I strictly dont work on holidays!!) at the sky lawns, the IC (the institute cafeteria...dammnn..they made me set foot on evil ground to reach this place!!) and dear old c'not. Not to mention, I had miraculously transformed into a much slimmer version of my former self. This, along with the rising prices of the "holy water", dampened my motivation even further.
However, braving all impediments, I registered myself with the health club in the fourth year. But it seemed that the gods were not too pleased with the decision (ya, you read it right!!..the gods..). On the first day, with pride and a sense of achievement, I lifted the dumbell. But as it brushed past my thigh, there was a loud crunch (nope, not that..am still a man:-) ). I quickly fished out my cell phone from the pocket..and the poor thing had cracked in the screen:(( The ill-omen was not to be overlooked!! From the next day, I promptly returned to my rather peaceful routine of sleeping till midday!!
Fifth year was an entirely different story. Being the last sem, it was important that we spent every minute of it lazing around. We couldnt afford to engage ourselves and thereby let time fly!! All said and nothing done, I had to postpone the project a little further.
Now, part of the corporate world, I'm being forced to see the early hours of the day...something which I hadnt seen in a lonnnng time...9 o clock, 9:30...phew, its insane!!! A good six months were spent in looking for a gym close to my house. And to make matters worse, we shifted houses after those six months, and hence another six months spent in looking for another gym (I told you I'm an extensive planner!!). Its been a week now and I just cant bear to see my body endure such great torture of going through a "strenuous" workout programme :(( I guess, if you wanna be arnold sauce'n'vinegar(I like calling him that), it comes with a price. But, I'm certain that it wont be long before "fate" decides to play villain yet again!!...poor me;-))